Belén.

Tomorrow night I will be presenting a very special, one-time only event:

The Official Live Tweeting of Belén at a High School Prom She’s Being Paid/Forced to Attend.

You heard me.

Highlights will include:

• A picture of my dress
• An honest attempt on my part to find a dateless boy (preferably one that has been ditched by his dumbass date) and dance with him to impress his buddies
• Nothing about the royal wedding, because who the shit cares?
• A screaming satirical reminder of how much you hated, fucking hated high school (and if you didn’t, I still don’t care)

Before you ask: no, I do not have a date. I work with disabled people, and a nice young gentleman asked me to be his staff for the evening. (He does have a date, though. They’re really cute together.) And yes, I will be attending an After Prom party. It’s some random house where I’ll probably get wasted and end up in bed with a one-night stand.
And by random house, I mean my place.
And by one-night stand, I mean a big bag of nachos.

Anyway, you can follow the madness here. I’ll be starting around 3 p.m. and finishing around 10 p.m. CST.