March 2010
This Is The Best Burrito I've Ever Eaten
Parry Gripp
Music Monday:
I totally learned this on ukulele.
“This is the Best Burrito I’ve Ever Eaten” - Parry Gripp
February 2010
“Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I’ve longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it’s you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It’s like turning air into gold. A miracle.”
—Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan/Jon Osterman in “Watchmen”
Ben: “WE’RE MISERABLE.”
Me: “HOLY FUCK. YES. WE ARE.”
Ben: “OH THE HORROR.”
Me: “OUR RELATIONSHIP IS AWFUL. WHY ARE WE EVEN TOGETHER?”
Ben: “EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU MAKES ME WRETCH; FROM YOUR STUPID FACE ALL THE WAY DOWN TO YOUR STUPID TOES. I MEAN, I’M AWESOME. I’M THE ONLY REDEEMING FEATURE OF THIS. BUT I COULD JUST GO FUCK MYSELF.”
Me: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU’D BE LUCKY TO EVEN FIND THAT MINUSCULE DICK OF YOURS.”
Ben: “IT GETS LOST IN YOUR VAGINAWAGON!”
Feel the love.
Is there a way to see how much a specific body part weighs?
If so, I’d like to see how much of my weight is in my ass.
I’m fairly certain that my ass weighs a hundred pounds, and the other ten [fifteen? I haven’t weighed myself in a few weeks] are evenly distributed throughout my body.
I'm On A Moose!
pbh3:
Yes, that is 26th President of the United States Theodore Roosevelt riding a moose to ford a river.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have found my new mode of transportation.