Day #5. Will Smith performs Men in Black with Ukulele for German TV.
Day #2: “Trouble” - Nevershoutnever!
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger...– Linda Montgomery (via lickystickypickyme) (via quote-book)
It’s ukulele week! Day 1: “Just You...
Recipe To Give Away a Million Dollars.
Recipe for money giveaway: Servings: 1 between 100,000,000,000 [más o menos] Ingredients: 1,000,000 cups of dollars 1 tablespoons of Goodyear Blimp 110 lbs. of Crazy Mexican Directions: 1. FLY, CRAZY MEXICAN, FLY!
Falling asleep to this song. “Lay Your Head...
I quote John Lennon: “I don’t believe in The Beatles; I just believe in me.”...– Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (via filmquotes)
Forget About Healthcare.
What this country REALLY needs is an epic battle between a rhinocerous and a triceratops. *Pouty rhino face*
Well, you know what it’s like at the start, when they’re all...– Sarah Alexander in “Coupling”
I Wrote a Song Once.
It was to be a duet between a man and a woman, and they would be accompanied by a massive, operatic choir. Most of the song would be in D minor. Tempo: Adagio. Verse 1: Woman: Far across the plains, my love sings to thee I know you can hear it, I know you can feel it Someday we’ll be together Someday we’ll leave this place Both: Someday we’ll be togetherrrrr Chorus: (Massive,...
Listen; there’s a hell of a good universe next door: let’s go.– e.e. cummins
My brother just sent me this list. Win?
hammerito: Every year, English teachers from across the U.S. can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. Here are last year’s winners: Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had it’s two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. ...
Mere’s face is fantastically creepy at the end.
Belén, thanks again for believing me. I’m headed to my parent’s house in Utah now. I will be driving through Iowa, and the offer still stands if you would like to meet the wandering, traveling musician/hopeless romantic known only by my full name, Jared Montgomery, then shoot me a text. It may seem odd, but I promise I’m not creepy, just a little weird. Hahaha. When will you be...
“If you believe in a god and you are correct, you will become an eternal moment of radiance. If you don’t believe in a god, and a benevolent god exists, the same applies. If there is no god, and we are alone on this spinning ball, then you will return to the earth and slowly become a part of everything. Every breath. Every tree. Every flower. Every cloud. Every word. You never need to...