I stopped using my facebook, but kind of missed the whole status update thing. Hence, the birth of my twitter.
I saw a PSA that said 1/3 of all car accidents involve someone who has THC in...– Sam Mitchell, 105%
If you eat it, they will punch.
I Love My Mom.
Mom: "Oh no, my cell phone has a scratch on it!"
Me: "Yeah, that will happen."
Mom: "Wait, never mind. It's just frosting."
Ways Jon Resembles a Bear.
Will occasionally growl in replacement of words. You can’t poke him when he’s angry. He tosses people around by the collars of their gi during jiu jitsu or judo sometimes. Bears don’t like surprises. Neither does Jon. He likes to hibernate and “hope[s] that when [he] wakes up, the world will have changed for the better”. If you stand tall, wave your arms around and make a lot of noise,...
When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a...– Clint Eastwood
If you had to eat another human being to survive, do you think they taste like...– Daniel Tosh